Purposefully Confused in Taiwan
Hihi!
I am going to throw a plot twist and try to do something that Stephanie 4 years ago was not able to do: document her travels in writing. Simple updates, nothing too deep. Probably a lot compressed, but existent nonetheless.
A quick refresher, I have been living abroad more or less for four years, and somehow much of that journey is as good as whispered myths for my friends and family. The thing with living abroad is that there is either constant thoughts and reflections that storm and quickly wash away through the drain with little seeping into my mind’s soil for retention. OR the second case is that there is no obvious novelty to share. With constant exposure to “foreignness” (I dislike this term, but it quickly gathers the idea of cultural difference), difference becomes regular and honestly, little phases me anymore. The only culture shock that really happens is when I return home and see how people from my birth country behaving.
Okay! So my update.
I am in Taiwan. Cute.
To my family this is a strategy move to save money and stay inspired with the job search. To my friends and peers, this is a period of unknowable fun. I have no idea how long I will stay except that I cannot overstay my visa. To myself, I am purposefully confused. I want direction, yet the past year has overturned everything I wanted and thought I could have in life (hah). To myself, I am rewriting my past to redirect and heal my future. Last time I was in Taiwan about 3 years ago, I was disappointingly timid and overwhelmed, which manifested in uncontrollable emotional states and many moments that I wish I could do again. If only I could go back in time and rub my younger self’s shoulders and tell her to be patience and to give herself more grace. So here I am, back in Taiwan ready to revisit the places where I was most vulnerable. To stand where I once stood with a new confidence stance.
13 September 2025:
Today I celebrated my birthday. I hiked to a familiar cave temple. While these idols are not my faith, I thoroughly enjoy the lands that are made sacred for beliefs. Religion begs a level of respect rarely granted to other spaces. As such, humans imbed themselves into nature— a temple inside a cave where the Earth’s touch blends with the human additions. I see the temple and see affirmations that humans are within nature, just as a square must always be a rectangle.
okay this photo does not do this space justice at all! Trust me, the space is serene and beautiful. I just try to take the photo and tuck away the phone as soon as possible.
As we continued along the trail, we also happened upon a temple with free tea! Yum yum yum.
